Trump Pushes to Become Supreme Judge of All the Lands
WASHINGTON D.C. - President Donald Trump expressed his growing frustration and regret for nominating Justices Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court. With his final two years of his presidential term fast approaching, Trump is pushing Republican members of Congress for an amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would replace the Supreme Court with himself as the highest judge in the judicial branch. He also requested a term lasting for life and afterlife. A White House spokesperson explained, "The president is the wisest person in the world and would make a great judge. His term shouldn't be confined to his lifetime. That's why his term would include the afterlife. He'll be displayed as a fully animated auto-icon until technology advances enough so that he can be resurrected."
The proposed constitutional amendment would establish the Supreme Judge of All the Lands as the judicial branch's highest court. It would also change how the highest court resolves disputes. Parties appearing before the Supreme Judge — or SJOATL for short — would argue their cases in a proceeding similar to a Judge Judy episode. The Supreme Judge would berate the disputing parties as they hurl insults at one another. All Supreme Judge of All the Lands proceedings would be live-streamed.